Miles is off to Cetaganda and oh yeah, Ivan too			
To pay respects to noble dead and foil a plot or two		
While Miles is being a hero, Ivan’s drinking poisoned beer	
The ambassador just wants to know: why the hell is Ivan here!	

	chorus:
	Ivan, you idiot!  What are you doing here?
	You’re going to screw up everything just by being near
	You mean well and you’re handsome, but that’s all that we can say
	We’ll call you when there’s donkey work, until then STAY AWAY

Admiral Naismith’s come to Earth to rest his weary feet
There’s just one little problem: there’s no cash to fix his fleet
He’s off to hit the embassy to ask them what the fuck
But guess who’s just been posted there, of all the rotten luck!

Captain Illyan’s memory chip is causing him some pain
A sabotager’s virus has infected his poor brain
Friends gather by his bedside to comfort and explain
But through his sick confusion he knows enough to proclaim:

The Council of Counts has begun and things are looking grim 
Lord Dono wants to be a Count but there’s no sign of him
Wait, here he comes with Ivan!  It seems he’s saved the day
You’d think Miles would be grateful but instead all he can say is:

capo 2:	(verse)				uncapoed:  (verse)
G    C    G   (C   G)			A  D  A  (D  A)
G    D7  				A  E7
G    G7   C    Cm			A  A7  D  Dm
G    C    G    D     G			A  D  A  E  A