We are the Machete Scouts		D  -  A  -
	Your devilish supporters!		A  -  E  -
	We slice, we dice - you sacrifice	A  E  A  E
	And watch your book get shorter		A  E  A  - 

Machete Scouts are noble, brave, and true, and total jerks	A E A E A E A - 
We like to say sarcastic things about your precious works	A - - - E B E -
With trembling heart you pass along your darling manuscript	D - A - - - E -
And we return a sliced-up mess whose pages are all ripped 	A E A E A E A -

	We are the Machete Scouts		D  -  A  -
	Your devilish supporters!		A  -  E  -
	We slice, we dice - you sacrifice	A  E  A  E
	And watch your book get shorter		A  E  A  - 

Here at Camp Machete there's an evil black lagoon		A E A E A E A -
And that is where extraneous words and phrases meet their doom	A - - - E B E -
We ask them in to have some tea and then suggest a swim		D - A - - - E -
And that is why our alligator mascot's never thin		A E A E A E A -

	We are the Machete Scouts		D  -  A  -
	Your devilish supporters!		A  -  E  -
	We slice, we dice - you sacrifice	A  E  A  E
	And watch your book get shorter		A  E  A  - 

To earn machete merit badges is our fondest goal		A E A E A E A -
In axemanship, dismemberment and making bullet holes 		A - - - E B E -
Julienning, carving, slicing, piercing, setting fire		D - A - - - E -
I mean, um, gentle proofreading, now why do you inquire?	A (pause) E A -

	We are the Machete Scouts		D  -  A  -
	Your devilish supporters!		A  -  E  -
	We slice, we dice - you sacrifice	A  E  A  E
	And watch your book get shorter		A  E  A  - 

	We are the Machete Scouts		D  -  A  -
	Your devilish supporters!		A  -  E  -
	We slice, we dice - you sacrifice	A  E  A  E
	And watch your book get shorter		A  E  A  -