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Telemarketing
Words & Music by Brooke Lunderville, 2007.
Ahh, some days nobody loves you but the newspaper. Please please don't actually play this on the phone for a telemarketer, I would be so embarassed! Or at least I ought to be. You can tell when there's a banjo walkdown, because the chord names look like garbage. Sorry guitar-players! You might want to listen to the melody and make up your own different chords.

PDF leadsheet for Telemarketing.
MP3 recording of Telemarketing.

I'm not actually intrigued by a trial subscription to your fine publication, and    Gm7 G7sus4  Gm7 G7sus4
I'm not planning to sell my apartment in the near future (at least not with you)    Gm7 G7sus4  Gm7 G7sus4

Don't you know that it's dinnertime	Gm7 G#b5
And I am trying to eat			Gm7  Dm
You don't seem to understand		Gm7 G#b5
No matter how much I repeat:		Gm7  Dm  D

I don't want to be on your calling list		Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
I don't want to be your survey panelist		Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
Please remove me from your speed dial directory	Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
'Cause I'm ready for my telemarketerectomy	Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G

I'm sorry I'm not as excited as you are that I may have won a free trip to Las Vegas     Gm7 G7sus4  Gm7 G7sus4
I'm sure that your timeshares are nice I just don't swing that way, I hear it's genetic  Gm7 G7sus4  Gm7 G7sus4

Your bored voice is charming but		Gm7 G#b5
installment plans aren't that beguiling		Gm7  Dm
But I see that my unlisted number's 		Gm7 G#b5
no match for consecutive dialing		Gm7  Dm  D

I don't want to be on your calling list		Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
I don't want to be your survey panelist		Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
Please remove me from your speed dial directory	Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
'Cause I'm ready for my telemarketerectomy	Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G

I know that you only make minimum wage			Dm  G
It's not your evil plan, just a script on a page	Dm  G
Just making ends meet as a telephone minion		Dm  G
(spoken:  I guess the jobs kicking hornets' nests were all taken)
But you called my house, so you get my opinion		Dm  D
	
I don't want to be on your calling list		Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
I don't want to be your survey panelist		Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
Please remove me from your speed dial directory	Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
'Cause I'm ready for my telemarketerectomy	Cadd9  Ebmaj7  Bb  D  G
							Bb  D  G
				telemarketerectomy			Bb  D  G
									Bb  D  G
				that was kind of a hint to hang up	Bb  D  G
									Bb  D  G
				okay, I will. 				Bb  D  G
									Bb  D  G
				but... don't call back?			Bb  D  G
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